treasure map

(Happy Birthday April!)

May

reading

• The Mirror in the Well-Micheline Aharonian
• The Mythic Image-Joseph Campbell
• Healing the Fisher King-Shelly Durrell
• The Bell Jar-Slyvia Plath
• Parzival-Eschenbach
• The Little Prince
• Revolutionary Road-Richard Yates

listening

• The Mirror Conspiracy-Thievery Corporation
• Modern Art Mix 2009
• Noble Beast-Andrew Bird
• Lots KEXP.org
• Middle Cyclone-Neko Case
• Mermaid Avenue-Billy Bragg & Wilco

watching

• Waking Life
• A Scanner Darkly
• Clash Of The Titans
• Donnie Darko
• The Host
• Altered States
• Kung Fu Panda
• The Prestige
• Requiem For a Dream
• Hercules (1958)

experiencing

• Thao With The Get Down Stay Down
• Modern Art 2009
• Edward Albee
• 9 + 1 Art Opening/"Closing!"
• "Program 3" TMP

The Hero

So my wife and I went and saw that guy last night. I had no idea that he was a world caliber, fully realized, artistic genius.  I'm an acquaintance of his and we greet each other when we see one another, but now I'm really taken aback because of his work. Amazing. Fraught with depth and meaning. Art on so many levels.

Well anyway, I'm melancholic today. Trey is this guy:

I want to be that guy. That's the hero. He is in control of the dualities of the world. He is actively pursuing his adventure and winning his fame. He is the master of his destiny and in control of life on all its many levels and facets.

My role is quite different. Fame is not one of the things I can expect either:

I'm this guy to some extent. He is "the trickster". Everything is a joke to him. Of course everything is serious too. That's why we have to laugh. Who is "the trickster"?  Well  it's them:

 

 

  

He is Mercury, thus mercurial. He is Loki, Hermes, the magician, trickster, guide. He mixes with liars and thieves, and can bring luck or misfortune. He throws rocks and brings about change. 

More often than not though, I'm mostly this guy:

Yes, the fool does eventually become the hero, but the fool still has yet to take his leap and become. I'm forever on the edge trying something new. I think I hear the call and follow, but haven't gotten lost in the dark forrest and had to find my way out. I'm a dilettante. So who were some notable fools?

The character that is really speaking to me right now is Parzival. He plays all the roles but importantly, he's the fool when he comes to town and meets Arthur and co.

So, melancholy? Parzival frees the prisoners, redeems the wasteland, heals the wounded king, captures the holy grail and eventually becomes king himself. What's the problem?

An aspect of my life right now is my "card", Strength.

I like tarot cards. But I don't think of them like most people do. It's not ghosts, spirits and fortune telling. These cards present a life's journey in pictures. It is the best language I've found to describe a human life.  These are the archetypes. The first 22 cards, the major arcana, describe the various roles that an individual will play over the course of their life. They also describe the path of life both in its stages and in the nature of life. So by stages I mean, Childhood, Maturation, Cessation.  The nature refers to the active portion of life in the first half and the passive portion in the second half.

The normal thing is to set off on one's adventure and build one's ego in youth during the active portion of one's journey. Later having won one's fame, one undoes their ego and prepares for death. At this point, one allows life to lead. Strength refers to this. This card is the beginning of the second half of life. One's active youth is finished, and one begins dismantling one's egoic structure and preparing for death. Instead of "forcing" the lion actively (male), it is a female that is taming the lion on the card. One must be tamed and not "fight". One must let go, and know that death awaits.

Melancholy. I'm a late bloomer. God I want the recognition of being the hero. I don't know why, but that is what I want. I want my name in lights in the theater hall, I want my vision to be what the intellectuals are talking about the next day, I want my creation to move people in the way that only authentic art can.

I'm into the second half of my journey, and I'm clearly not 20. For me, to actively pursue means obsession. It means to be negligent in my responsibilities to my family. I don't have the time to become the hero. It would be selfish. I would loose my treasure in the process.  Yes,  I have the treasure.  It is the same treasure that Indian Jones sought and found. Sometimes I forget though and want to take a leap and become the hero. I had the time in my 20s but wouldn't go over the edge.  I had plenty of chances. . . 

Anyway,  I sure enjoyed the performance last night.  It clearly exceeded my ability intellectually to articulate the expressed narrative.  My wife could see Trey's brush strokes and not only follow, but explain the meaning.  I could only "feel" the beauty.  Perhaps after multiple viewings I would be more confident and conscious of Trey's intention.  I'm grateful that he is here in Boise.  It gives me something to talk about.

Say, maybe we should talk about the racial implications of that last piece though, Ma Maison. What does it mean that Trey's "white" dancers are dancing in a historically black idiom to "black" music whose authenticity comes from the poverty of it performers?   And then what does it mean that said "white" dancers are seemingly dressed in "black-face" and are performing this to dance to a wealthy, upper class, white audience?  Everything is intentional, yeah?

I wish I spoke the language of dance.  I could perhaps discern what those to seemingly "master" skeletons were doing.  Evocative.  Racist?  Not sure.  Need to see it again.  Comment about Katrina?  Quite likely.  Ma Maison?   "Mother House"?  The piece is built upon New Orleans. That is the primary stone.  There is a history of "black" folks getting fucked there.  The hats on the two "master" skeletons were pretty colonial.  Hummmmm.

I am trying to break your heart

I'm going to try and work on the post today that I've been sketching on now for a while. Each time I get into it though, I get lost in the details and miss the point. H is the point. The whole thing is about "The Heart".

I should say that Coney Island is resonating right now though for some reason. I started watching Requiem For A Dream last night. They live just down the road from it. Cloverfield has a Coney Island bit. The girl in Cloverfield looks like Jennifer Connelly too.

The association I'm having with Coney Island is with Wilco and their black and white film. I think the whole thing is in Chicago though. Not sure why I'm connecting it w/ Coney Island. Jay Bennet just died on the 24th.

Mermaid Avenue is on Coney Island. Maybe I'm just connecting the wrong Wilco thing. There is probably something here if I wanted to investigate (The monster in Cloverfield destroys the heart of NY in response to a broken heart, the people in Requiem loose heart as their dreams fail--I have to finish it, Jay Bennet may have died from a broken heart, there is something here), but I need to focus on "H", or the goofy essay that I need to work up. Will try and be more diligent.

who watches the watchmen?

watch me.

The Comedian understood the joke.

the abyss gazes also into you

I see your mad world and raise you one genocide?

No, make that two genocides.

Here is just darkness that might be related to this.

I know what the problem is.  I will let you know.  I've been talking about it for a while now.  Shouldn't come as any surprise. 

it's happening again?

onus |ˈōnəs|noun 

(usu. as the onus)used to refer to something that is one's duty or responsibility : the onus is on you to show that you have suffered loss.

ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from Latin, literally ‘load or burden.’

War's end?

Should we care?

-must say that like Socrates, I know nothing.

love will tear us apart

I was reading an essay this morning about Revolutionary Road. Well, I suppose it was an interview. It didn't give me a heads up and ended up spoiling the film that Sam Mendes directed as well as the Richard Yates book.

My wife saw the film, but I did not, yet it resonated with us because my wife said that "the message" was that having a third child was a bad idea. We were talking about this a little bit. What fascinated me was Kate and Leo back together.

I saw Titanic perhaps five times in the theater. I know. It is a poor Say Anything on a big fucking boat. But it was the big fucking boat that captured my imagination. It was so big, and so solid, and it just disappeared in the end. I've been wanting to watch this again. It is bad, and painful, but maybe it can redeem itself?

The idea that my mind was trying to understand happened again to all of us. The day was September 11 2001. Where did those buildings go? How did they just disappear? The were so big, and so solid.

This idea is actually an archetype. It is represented by The Tower in the tarot, which I've come to believe is the language of life. The entire journey is encapsulated in the major arcana of the deck, that is the first 22 cards. These 22 cards illustrate our story, our journey, all the roles we play and can play in life. It is a basic pictorial representation of "The" myth.

So what's interesting about The Tower is that it is the only material structure built in the cards. It is the only "thing" that has "substance" in those 22 cards. I know The Chariot, but that is not a literal chariot, it represents the hero actively pursuing his adventure. The Wheel is a figurative wheel too. So, maybe the tower doesn't have to be a literal tower either. It could be our ego which we build and then destroy. It could also be our life, our spine, which we build and grow until it collapses, crumbles, and disappears with death. Maybe. I'm sure both are true--that the god struck tower is our mortal self that must metaphorically and literally die. But, it also likely represents the so-called material that we believe in, um, like money. The value of objects require the mutual faith from all of us to agree that yes, this stuff is valuable. Gold, yes value. Oil, yes value. Diamonds, drugs, yes this is G.O.D. and we all have faith!

But what does it do to us when we witness the dissolution of substance? Does this cause a joy division which requires a new order? We must have "true faith" indeed to believe so firmly in the stability of our towers, but they do fall. . . And it's almost like a "ceremony" as this archetype repeats itself over and over. Anytime our faith in material becomes unwavering, The Tower is struck.

--Think of past tragedies and how it was inconceivable prior to the tragedy to even think of the event as a possibility. I'm talking a failure of imagination. We are witnessing one right now. Will the dollar make it? Have we killed the monster in the heart of the financial center?

So back to Jack and Rose. April and Frank. Kate is April is Iris (is Isis). Anyway, I'm following.

I know how it ends. And so what am I'm doing here. Specifically here in the blogspace today. Maybe The Tower is also the "one flesh" of an initiated couple. Marriage. Hum. And is it ego that strikes that tower?

Let's reconsider. Rev Road-idea of perfect 50's symbolized w/ a marriage and then the idea is revealed as fake and destroyed. Cloverfield-monster destroys NY symbolized w/ a couple dealing w/ selfishness. Titanic-iceberg splits love and boat into separate parts and sinks. The heart of the film is a gem? Disorder Peculiar to The Country-divorce and 911 happen simultaneously.

So what am I saying? Are these stories about love or material. Slum Dog had it's head in the right place.

Have no fear, take no umbrage, know why you are here!

-yesterday was the anniversary of Ian Curtis' death. May 18, 1980.

Listen and contemplate what is really tearing us apart.

what's the matter?

substance

noun

1 a particular kind of matter with uniform properties

• an intoxicating, stimulating, or narcotic chemical or drug, esp. an illegal one.

2 the real physical matter of which a person or thing consists and which has a tangible, solid presence

• the quality of having a solid basis in reality or fact

• the quality of being dependable or stable

3 the quality of being important, valid, or significant

• the most important or essential part of something; the real or essential meaning

• the subject matter of a text, speech, or work of art, esp. as contrasted with the form or style in which it is presented.

• wealth and possessions

• Philosophy the essential nature underlying phenomena, which is subject to changes and accidents.

ORIGIN Middle English (denoting the essential nature of something): from Old French, from Latin substantia 'being, essence,' from substant- 'standing firm,' from the verb substare.

material

noun

1 the matter from which a thing is or can be made

• (usu. materials) things needed for an activity

• [with adj. ] a person of a specified quality or suitability

2 facts, information, or ideas for use in creating a book or other work

• items, esp. songs or jokes, comprising a performer's act

3 cloth or fabric

adjective

1 [ attrib. ] denoting or consisting of physical objects rather than the mind or spirit

• concerned with physical needs or desires

• concerned with the matter of reasoning, not its form

2 important; essential; relevant

• chiefly Law (of evidence or a fact) significant, influential, or relevant, esp. to the extent of determining a cause or affecting a judgment : information that could be material to a murder inquiry.

ORIGIN late Middle English (in the sense [relating to matter] ): from late Latin materialis, adjective from Latin materia ‘matter.’

matter

noun

1 physical substance in general, as distinct from mind and spirit; (in physics) that which occupies space and possesses rest mass, esp. as distinct from energy

• a substance or material

• a substance in or discharged from the body

• written or printed material

2 an affair or situation under consideration; a topic

3 the reason for distress or a problem : what's the matter? | pretend that nothing's the matter.

4 the substance or content of a text as distinct from its manner or form.

• Printing the body of a printed work, as distinct from titles, headings, etc.

• Logic the particular content of a proposition, as distinct from its form.

verb [ intrans. ]

1 be of importance; have significance

• be important or influential

2 rare (of a wound) secrete or discharge pus.

ORIGIN Middle English : via Old French from Latin materia 'timber, substance,' also 'subject of discourse,' from mater 'mother.'

mother of all monsters

"Echidna" from D'aulaires'Book Of Greek Myths (Buy it!)

I'm beginning to begin something big. I alluded to this with my twittergument 2.

The meditation is something like "Death is the Fire of Life". But it deals directly with "the heart of the matter" again. Thus, much of the post will be built upon the letter "H". What is the heart? What's the matter?

Family is the structure. Death is truth. It is the fire of life. But to get to where I'm going, which is "killing the witch", I first need to get the "history" out of the way. (So here is a bunch of monster backstory for you and yours. This should prepare us all from where I'm going. H is for ho! --Note that all of this comes from Wikipedia. It is mostly right for our purposes. It is good too keep in mind that mythology isn't literal and doesn't always follow a straight line. Many times there are multiple genealogies and varying stories. We just go with what "feels" right. And with the first stone in place we possibly can..) Find the origin. Of substance, of matter, of mother.

Gaia ("land" or "earth", from the Ancient Greek)is the primal Greek goddess personifying the Earth.

Gaia is a primordial and chthonic deity in the Ancient Greek pantheon and considered a Mother Goddess or Great Goddess.

Her equivalent in the Roman pantheon was Terra.

Family Tree

Gaia is the titan of Earth and these are her offspring as related in various myths.

• Through parthenogenesis
• Uranus
• Pontus
• Ourea

Uranus Is the Latinized form of Ouranos, the Greek word for sky. In Greek mythology Ouranos or Father Sky, is personified as the son and husband of Gaia, Mother Earth (Hesiod, Theogony).

the Titans were a race of powerful deities that ruled during the legendary Golden Age. Their role as Elder Gods was overthrown by a race of younger gods, the Olympians, effected a mythological paradigm shift that the Greeks borrowed from the Ancient Near East.[1]

There are twelve Titans[2] from their first literary appearance, in Hesiod, Theogony; Pseudo-Apollodorus. The six male Titans are known as the Titanes, and the females as the Titanides ("Titanesses"). The Titans were associated with various primal concepts, some of which are simply extrapolated from their names: ocean and fruitful earth, sun and moon, memory and natural law. The twelve first-generation Titans were ruled by the youngest, Cronus (Saturn), who overthrew their father, Uranos ('Sky'), at the urgings of their mother, Gaia ('Earth').

• With Pontus
• Ceto
• Eurybia
• Phorcys
• Nereus
• Thaumas

Pontus, (English translation: "sea") was an ancient, pre-Olympian (Titan) sea-god, one of the protogenoi, the "first-born". Pontos was the son of Gaia, the Earth: Hesiod [1] says that Gaia brought forth Pontos out of herself, without coupling. For Hesiod, Pontos seems little more than a personification of the sea, ho pontos, "the Road", by which Hellenes signified the Mediterranean Sea.[2] With Gaia, he was the father of Nereus (the Old Man of the Sea), of Thaumas (the awe-striking "wonder" of the Sea, embodiment of the sea's dangerous aspects), of Phorcys and his sister-consort Ceto, and of the "Strong Goddess" Eurybia.

Cetus was a hideous sea monster, a daughter of Gaia and Pontus. She was the personification of the dangers of the sea, unknown terrors and bizarre creatures. Her name came from the neuter noun kētos, "sea monster", which gives us the term cetacean today. Her husband was Phorcys and they had many children, collectively known as the Phorcydes or Phorcydides. In Greek art, Cetus was drawn as a serpentine fish. Cetus also gave name to the constellation Cetus.

Phorcys, or Phorkys was one of the names of the "Old Man [or One] of the Sea", the primeval sea god, who, according to Hesiod, was the son of Pontus and Gaia.

the Phorcydes were the children of Phorcys and Ceto and include the Hesperides, the Graeae, the Gorgons, Scylla and other nymphs and monsters, mostly associated with the sea.

• With Tartarus
• Echidna
• Typhon

In classic mythology, below Heaven, Earth, and Pontus is Tartarus, or Tartaros (Greek Τάρταρος, deep place). It is a deep, gloomy place, a pit, or an abyss used as a dungeon of torment and suffering that resides beneath the underworld. In the Gorgias, Plato (c. 400 BC) wrote that souls were judged after death and those who received punishment were sent to Tartarus. As a place of punishment, it can be considered a hell. The classic Hades, on the other hand, is more similar to Old Testament Sheol.

Like other primal entities (such as the earth and time), Tartarus is also a primordial force or deity.

Consorts and children of Ceto:

1. Phorcys
1. Echidna
2. Gorgons
1. Euryale
2. Medusa
3. Stheno
3. Graeae
1. Deino
2. Enyo
3. Pemphredo
4. Ladon
5. Scylla
6. Sirens
7. Thoosa

Echidna (Greek: Ἔχιδνα, ekhis, ἔχις, meaning "she viper") was called the "Mother of All Monsters". Echidna was described by Hesiod as a female monster spawned in a cave, who mothered with her mate Typhoeus (or Typhon) every major horrible monster in the Greek myths

. . .her face and torso of a beautiful woman was depicted as winged in archaic vase-paintings, but always with the body of a serpent (see also Lamia). She is also sometimes described as having two serpent's tails.

Zeus allowed Echidna and her children to live as a challenge to future heroes.

Typhon is the final son of Gaia, fathered by Tartarus, and is the most deadly monster of Greek mythology. Typhon attempts to destroy Zeus at the will of Gaia, because Zeus had imprisoned the Titans. Typhon was described in pseudo-Apollodorus, Bibliotheke, as the largest and most fearsome of all creatures. His human upper half reached as high as the stars. His hands reached east and west and had a hundred dragon heads on each. His bottom half was gigantic viper coils that could reach the top of his head when stretched out and made a hissing noise. His whole body was covered in wings, and fire flashed from his eyes. He was defeated by Zeus, who trapped Typhon underneath Mount Etna.

Typhon and Echidna's offspring

The offspring of Typhon and Echidna were:

1. Nemean Lion
2. Ladon
3. Chimera
4. Sphinx
5. Lernaean Hydra
6. Cerberus