present state

There has been a delay, obviously:

I have a need to illuminate my present state. (I wish my state was more present.) I'm in the middle of a psychic drama. It is a crisis of sorts, and I became really aware of it yesterday as I was having a conversation with a Shaman that makes house calls.

I'm currently lacking a cosmology. I, personally, don't have a "complete mythology" that infuses my world with a mystical wonder, a sense of order, and perhaps a purpose.

This really became evident in my conversation yesterday as I tried to logically solve paradox. One (likely) can't unite opposites w/ logic and the mind. And this leads into something interesting. My mind tends to see Either/Or. It is the idea of versus. James Ratte pointed this out in a response to my emotional show of attempting to kill my blog avatar, by sugessting the idea of AND. How about instead of either/or which is the path of imbalance--which is the black and the white, one moves into the grey of AND?

--Thanks James, beautiful advice.

A practice is not about the results of said practice. It is the doing. My practice is writing [obviously], and it doesn't matter what I'm writing so long as I'm writing--Which is all well and good if I didn't have this ego!!!!

I have limited time. My synchromystic pursuits take the time I could be writing fiction. I have two plays, one short story, and my novel that are all demanding attention. These won't go away, but sync compels me otherwise. . .[And then all this competes w/ my children for attention. . .]

I dressed this past Halloween as John Constantine. His opponent is the devil. Our western mind thinks in terms of versus and overcoming. Perhaps I should stop fighting the devil, and embrace and integrate this darkness that I've been fighting since late summer. It's just my unconscious after all.

Forgive me. I'm in limbo. I need to find my path and begin walking. I'm in the darkest part of the forrest, engulfed in the belly of the whale, and I'm searching for light. I'm ready to be reborn!

-happy christmas all.

I think Eunus Noe is about to be reborn as Dionysus!